lunes, 14 de julio de 2008

Un instante

La cosa es así.
El promedio de nuestra estatura es poco más de metro y medio y poco menos de dos. Comparados con las dimensiones del universo, somos un grano de arena pero no en un desierto sino en un planeta enormemente más grande que la Tierra.
Vivimos entre setenta y noventa años aproximadamente. Lo cual significa que si el tiempo total de la Tierra, desde su creación hasta ahora, fuera un año, nuestra vida entera sería bastante menos que una duodécima parte de un segundo en ese año.
Tener esta idea en la cabeza a las tres y media de la mañana mientras paso un trapo al mostrador de un barcito es una invitación al suicidio. Total, si somos una fracción tan ridícula de tiempo y de espacio, ¿por qué suicidarse sería algo tan grave? Un arma en mi sien. Algo de Bach de fondo. Apretar el gatillo y abandonar la pequeñez para abrazar a la nada.
La contemplación de mi suicidio es interrumpida cuando una pareja me pide Coca Cola. Me pregunto si todos los clientes de barcitos similares pensarán en el universo que se esconde detrás de quien los atiende. O si sólo ven algo con forma humana que les es funcional a lo que desean. Estoy algo lento por mi diálogo interno y el hombre resopla malhumorado. Sonrío. Lo hice desperdiciar una fracción de tiempo enormemente ridícula en el tiempo total de la Tierra. Pero, así y todo, le doy la Coca y le sonrío como mi jefe me obliga.
Él saca la billetera y la mujer, con un resoplo, se apura a pagar. –Seguís con tu machismo.- balbucea ella, mientras me da la plata.
El hombre se encoje de hombros. –Vos también.
Inclino ligeramente la cabeza. Como cuando alguien oye algo interesante. Supongo que husmear en su conversación mientras esperan al pernocte es una interesante eludida al suicidio. De todas formas, no traje nada de Bach. Ni el arma, no teman.
Los puedo oler. Me encanta cuando al barcito vienen estudiantes de Letras. De Filosofía y de Comunicación Social también. Vuelcan tanta pasión al discurso crítico de un objeto que se distancian del objeto en cuestión. Por más que este objeto sea el motivo por el cual están en el barcito a las tres y media de la mañana mientras esperan el pernocte.
–La mujer es, sin dudas, mejor imagen poética que el hombre.- sostiene ella.
Él sonríe, casi prepotente. –No te das cuenta que tu postura pseudo feminista es un eco del machismo, y es tan eco que le es funcional. Decís que la mujer es más poética porque la ves a través de la mirada masculina. Un hombre que no se ve a sí mismo como bello. Como poético. Decís que es así porque es natural, porque mirá el cuerpo del hombre y el cuerpo de la mujer, es sentido común decís, pero hay siglos y siglos detrás de tu sentido común.
–Ahí es donde te equivocás. Leyendo un poco, usando esto…- dice ella, señalando a su cabeza- se puede dar un pasito al costado del tiempo.
Mientras paso un trapo al mostrador me pregunto sobre qué se apoyará un pasito al costado de menos de una duodécima parte de un segundo.
El hombre se echa atrás en la silla. –Das un paso al costado para decir las mismas cosas que se dicen hace siglos. Es como ese concepto de analizar desde un punto ajeno. No hay nada que sea ajeno. Todo se incorpora y todo se proyecta. Todo se—
–Vuelve símbolo.- completa ella- Fuimos al mismo teórico.
Él asiente con la cabeza. –Exacto.
–¿Pero me vas a negar que entre nuestras piernas nosotras no tuvimos guerras, desvelos, poemas, sinfonías, miserias y virtudes?
–No. Pero fue una tragedia para tu postura que digas eso. Porque pusiste a las mujeres como objetos indirectos de sinfonías y guerras y no las subrayaste como sujetos. Es cierto eso. Y árido. Como la musa que inspira pero no crea.
–Pero sin su caricia no—
–Es machismo disfrazado eso. Poético, pero disfrazado. Porque expropia a la mujer de sujeto creador.
Ella mueve su cabeza de costado a costado, aceptando su derrota discursiva. –Cierto. Pero hay cientos de escritoras y—
–Sí, sí. Eso está y nadie te lo niega. Pero acá- dice él, señalando a su cabeza- está la idea de arte de un hombre indagando en una musa, de seducción de un hombre acercándosele a una mujer. Hay una cuestión social de dominio y anatómica de penetración.
–Y económica de dominio.
Él asiente.
–Es bastante trágico. Pero ya será detonado ese sentido común. El tiempo del hombre llegó al fin.
Un par de minutos en un año. El tiempo llegó rápido, me digo.
–¿Te parece?- incita él- Yo creo que esa tragedia está tan metida adentro de nuestra carne que es difícil sacarla. Sin ir más lejos, vos, con todas tus opiniones y posturas feministas, que me parecen correctas, te derretís en la cama cuando te digo que sos mi puta.
Ella abre sus ojos, indignada. Mira alrededor para cerciorarse que nadie escuchó. –Me gusta esa sensación de pertenecerte.- contesta, encogida de hombros.
Nunca pensé que algo así me generaría tanta dulzura.
Se besan. Finalmente. Se besan sin las perezas de aquellas parejas que ya se conocen. Se besan como si fuera la primera vez. O la última. Ahora sí, olvidando el discurso crítico y perdiéndose en el objeto, ahora ellos entendieron. Que si se es fracción de un instante no hay que desperdiciar el tiempo. Hermoso concepto. Pero tengo que pasarle el trapo a un mostrador para pagar un alquiler.

56 comentarios:

Leila dijo...

Me encantó.

Anónimo dijo...

a mi también

Mar dijo...

qué dulzura...

Anónimo dijo...

Que si se es fracción de un instante no hay que desperdiciar el tiempo

Tatán dijo...

Epselente, como siempre Donato. Una obra de arte.

Anónimo dijo...

increible


pero no hay nadie mas machista que una mujer

Anónimo dijo...

siempre me parecio machista el feminismo... ya el hecho de que exista el feminismo es machista, para que detenerme a pensar mi condición de mujer? simplemente soy lo que quiero ser sin importar a que genero pertenesco. si necesito una corriente para defenderme es porque me siento inferior,.. nose, lo veo asi
en fin, caí en el vicio de perder el tiempo en el discurso critico y no concentrarme en el objeto, muy real

hermoso final donato, auqneu ya no me sorprenda, te leo absolutamente siempre

Anónimo dijo...

Donato: hace algunos días que vengo leyendo tu blog, el cual encontré a través de el túnel de mis piernas.
Me gusta mucho lo que escribís, la forma en que escribís, y me gustó especialmente este posteo... "cuando vienen estudiantes de letras, filosofía o comunicación" me sentí un poco identificada!
(¿serás el chico que atiende en la ypf a la vuelta de mi casa?)
Besos

Benjuí dijo...

Ay, Donato.
Mi vida es mi eternidad; sólo tengo esta y no voy a desperdiciarla acabando con ella, aunque tampoco voy a malbaratarla impidiéndome a mí misma pensar sobre la condición humana.

Disfrutaré del sexo, del amor, del arte, de la amistad y de la maternidad, pero no voy a renunciar a rebelarme contra la injusticia.

Quien considera que el feminismo es un modo de machismo debe reflexionar, en lugar de lanzar descalificaciones hacia las mujeres que han luchado y luchan por tener los mismos derechos que los hombres ¿O es que hay alguien que considera machista impedir la ablación del clítoris, los matrimonios forzados, el burka, el derecho a disponer del propio cuerpo? (y, por favor, tener los mismos derechos no significa ser iguales: eso es pura demagogia).

Juzgar el mundo por cómo nos va a nosotros es una pobre fórmula para entenderlo.

Donato dijo...

Benjui,
Es imposible desprenderse de la subjetividad. Y el feminismo no es el que debe abolir aberraciones como las que nombraste. Todos debemos hacerlo. Excede al femenismo eso.
La mención del feminimo en este texto es al femenismo en esta sociedad y en este momento. Lo mismo que el machismo. Por momentos creo que es como una batalla de ecos. Uno alimenta al otro y el otro al otro. Espero alguna vez se detenga toda esa estupidez. Y seamos simplemente.
Saludos.

Benjuí dijo...

Oh, sí, Donato, podemos y debemos salir de nuestra subjetividad; no hace falta más que mirar las estadísticas de mujeres asesinadas por sus compañeros, violadas por sus familiares cercanos, maltratadas, mal pagadas aquí - sea cual sea ese "aquí" - y ahora.

¿O es que eso sólo compete a quien le sucede?

Quien lucha contra ello es feminista, sea hombre o mujer.

katza dijo...

Me encanto.Y me gustaria que en filo enseñen algo mas que modernidad e ilustracion.Muy europeo al fin,por eso a ella le gusta pertenecerle, o al menso la sensacion...

Anónimo dijo...

Creo q DC va a otra cosa, benjui y creo q es muy limitado decir que quien defiende lo q dijiste es un feminista, sea hombre o mujer. xq dijiste crímenes e injusticias. es antes que nada una mujer o una persona? si se circunscribe la defensa de esas víctimas como algo en post del feminismo se circunscribe a la mujer como víctima.

Donato dijo...

Coincido con vos, anónimo.

Leila dijo...

Yo creo que Donato y Benjui no están en caminos tan separados.
Creo que D. "critica" el feminismo cerrado, ese que ve en todos los hombres "bestias peludas y malditas que solo quieren hacer sufrir a las mujeres y oprimirlas de todas las formas posibles". Ese feminismo , creo yo, no aporta, "enceguese" y se crea enemigos y enemigas por doquier.

Pero en toda defensa es por un lado necesario identificarse, osea "todos debemos luchar por terminar con esas aberraciones no alcanza", hay que agruparse y organizar la lucha,por eso no puede ser algo tan abstracto...tal vez "feminismo" no sea la palabra correcta, pero hay que ponerle nombre y apellido, organizar acciones concretas para terminar con la inequidad,se entiende?

Y por otro lado esta que a veces es tanta la inequidad que es preciso, "gritar", subrayar una y otra vez lo que está MAL. Del mismo modo que a Marx se lo acusaba de economicista,y su compañero Engels tenía que salir a aclarar:
"el que los discípulos hagan a veces más hincapié del debido en el aspecto económico es cosa de la que, en parte, tenemos la culpa Marx y yo mismo. Frente a los adversarios teníamos que subrayar este principio cardinal que se negaba, y no siempre disponíamos de tiempo, espacio y ocasión para dar la debida importancia a los demás factores que intervienen en el juego de las acciones y reacciones" (Engels, 1966a: 494).

Se me hizo largo! saludos y gracias Donato x incitarnos a pensar dde tus textos!

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Anónimo dijo...

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